Hi, friend.
There are so many things I want to know about you. After talking with you last night, I realize that the moments I have had with you have barely scratched the surface of your depths. I think it’s because of my “intense” personality that I am incredibly dissatisfied with this reality.
And ya know what? That is the reality of not only my relationship with you but even more so with my relationship with Him. If I cannot in this blink-of-an-eye lifetime know you to the measure that I long for, how can I mine the unfathomable, immeasurable depths of God?
So the opportunity (invitation) in front of me, is to hand this friendship to Him and to abandon myself completely to His goodness. I don’t mean to sound trite or to offer a Christian platitude here. Nope. That’s not it. Words cannot quite capture the mystery of it — at least for me right now. It is a work He is inviting me into and doing in me in my spirit, in the secret place, and the stillness.
Revisiting a topic we touched briefly last night, I truly do wonder if God is calling you to be His voice in the vacant space which you have discovered. I say it again — I wonder if you do not yet see and understand the dynamic impact you have on people of all ages. I see it and feel it. May He reveal it to you and give you wisdom as you go forward. You have been called to amazing things!
Then today I was talking with a friend who was sharing about a similar circumstance to your daughter’s death; this family’s daughter was the one at fault in a head-on collision which resulted in a fatality, however. And I immediately thought of the grace on you and on your husband right now. I am not saying that I know what God is saying about this, just wondering what He might be up to. So I am praying about that, too.
Though I could probably ramble on and on, it seems like the better choice is to end today’s installment. It is so weird to be in this space with the tragic and deep loss.
~bewildered and dissatisfied, on the Indiana prairie
amylynndemoss 