it happened last December

turns out that rewriting “blog” in my bullet journal more than 31 times was not enough to prompt me to do so.

hence, here i am, late again.

December was fantastic fun, which at the time felt like it was flying by, despite my real efforts to slow myself and enjoy the journey. i am thankful for all the times of connecting with the special people in my life. were the month sixty days long, it would NOT be enough time to fit everything into it.

highlights for me were spending time with Mom, G and my sister along with our people celebrating His birth and then our people being together again celebrating His birth. does a mom’s heart good to overflowing.

i said it out loud how much i do not like when they all leave. i understand that it is right and what we raised them to do. i am thankful and happy that each one is moving forward as a responsible, maturing, loving person. i really do not want to live with ten other people for the rest of me life – do i? but none of that makes the leaving less sad and painful.

leavings, be they of this world or to eternity, are bittersweet. even now my stomach churns and tears form behind my eyes. i miss you all so much. parting truly is such sweet sorrow.

ahead of me in 2020 are more leavings, some anticipated and some yet to be realized. i am comforted by His Presence and peace that is beyond all that I understand in my intellect even now as I look ahead to them.

may our vision this year be 2020 Kingdom vision. may our whole bodies, souls and spirits be save, healed, delivered, transformed and renewed.

~remembering December on the Indiana prairie

November yesterday

and here i am again, playing catch up.

simply put, november was a blur, though the wedding in north carolina was a definite highlight, along with the choir concert and Thanksgiving Day.

as a sneak peak into december, sometimes a task that needs to be done or a decision that needs to be made is obvious.

i made two such decisions today, and i am now experiencing more freedom and peace. good call!

one of those decisions was to stop posting at another blog site in order to simplify. the other decision was about simplifying, also, but this is not the forum.

simply put, i will be transitioning from my role as a home school teacher, et al, to somethings new in the near future. it is time to evaluate my choices and priorities.

are you in a new season or about to start one? i would love to hear about yours.

~refocusing, on the Indiana prairie

 

A true miracle and other everyday happenings

so, the near tragedy was completely redeemed; miracle kitty lives for yet another day. and that is all I will say about that. i have cried rivers of tears retelling the story. if you want to hear it, the next time ya see me, just ask.

April has been a super fun crazy weird busy new month full. I started an additional part time job. you have heard my story about the first part time job — the dream job, which allows me to set my own hours and to work from home or not. this second part time job is not like that. I have to show up in the church office to do secretarial type things. I worked for the first time last week. it went well.

earlier in the month our oldest daughter and her fiance’ surprised us by showing up for the Running with Racoons 5K at Camp T. what a wonderful gift! then we were surprised again when we returned home afterward to find the rest of the kiddos, those who were not running in the 5K, preparing supper for us. wow!  what a fun, fun, fun day. they surprised us for our 30th wedding anniversary.

and it is mostly spring here now, which is super energizing most days.

what’s going on in your world?

~livin’ better than I deserve, on the Indiana prairie

And then came June

what a great month is June! summer is fully here, and in Indiana that means any spring, summer or fall weather is fair game. just enjoy the ever-changing weather journey.

one excellent addition to my life of late is a gift from my dear husband – a cruiser style 7-speed bike. yes! our youngest and I have taken many a short jaunts together since the gift. I have missed very much the joy of riding a bike.

it also seems that I am in something of a “throw-back” mode in life, as I find old dreams and relationships and ideas receiving new life breathed into them. another ocean of joy for which I am thankful.

not all is sunshine and roses in life, of course. our kiddos each have challenges of his/her own, which then cause pain in mom’s heart. if we don’t love, we don’t feel pain. so, that’s just as it should be, right? personally one bit of news that is “inconclusive” hangs in an unresolved state until later in July. choosing to simply look at the facts without attaching any emotion to it at present is an on-going challenge.  it could be that things will turn out fabulously for all involved, so if I am going to imagine something, I will choose that narrative!

this morning I realized once again that I have slipped slightly down the slope of reacting to the story of my life instead of taking up my role as the lead actor. time to step into my story, write it, live it, love it. maybe time to write some people out of my story and some people into my story.

~enjoying the journey, on the Indiana prairie

Addition

It has been glorious and happy and fun.

November has arrived and so has some of the pain of change.

I am embracing this new season of life, this season of being a “mother-in-love” and a mother, both. Amazing, expanding, life-giving AND an opportunity to do battle with every foul lie and accusation my enemy can cannonball me with.

Thanks be to God, that He is ever interceding on my behalf, that He goes before and behind me, that He has and is preparing the way for me to walk in truth, love, joy and peace.

Make up the BEST, most positive narrative, with God in it! He is that good and that faithful.

 

~experiencing growing pains, on the Indiana prairie

Blogs read

An item I’ve been migrating in my BuJo for the past several weeks, is to read through all of the blog posts from my two blogs.

Finally,  I have managed to read all of them!

And as a result, I realized how the shift in busyness affected my posting habits. Had I put more focused thought to it, I might have set a goal of posting a least one time at each site (theme song Thursdays won’t officially count) each month.

Sound like a good plan, and I will go with it for now.

I have gleaned some ideas for those monthly postings, which also motivates me to write. Hopefully that momentum will build.

For whatever reasons, having these two blogs is still a thing for me. I wonder how long that will last? I find them life-giving and joy-giving for me. If others are helped or benefit, then that’s a true bonus.

Check back in each month because I expect to be writing about my keto lifestyle along with giving updates about work and home schooling. . .

Did I mention that I wrote another novel-in-30-days over the summer? I’d like to try to do that at least once a year.

It feels good to have some writing goals to aim toward.

~experiencing increase, on the Indiana prairie

And after the vacation?

Actually, we are embarking on summer vacation already.

And the time away from the grind was good time away, but not what I had hoped it would be exactly.  The fam spent a lot more time in the room than they indicated they would do before we left.  I did not get my alone time after all.

And then there was the new driver, practicing driving the vehicle that we have designated as “not for the kids to drive.”

And she drove for the first time on the interstate. . .which I did not anticipate happening. I felt myself swirling downward, but managed to maintain myself, thanks to Holy Spirit’s help.  Yikes!

Things did get a bit sticky when I spoke out about something that I would not have spoken out about without the encouragement of the truth in “The Emotionally Healthy Woman.”  It was painful and not pretty, but necessary.  I think we have had movement in the right direction since then, my husband and I.

All-in-all, a good get-away.

Another DOT is that I have been asked to help facilitate a few meetings, and I am excited to use some of the Sprint Design methods then.  Also, Don has mentioned that I get to sit in on a bunch of management level meetings about our company’s culture.

WAHOO!!!

~looking forward to summer, on the Indiana prairie

The daily minutia and dots

So it comes to this. I am “writing” while slow jogging.

And of course, talk to text is sketchy at best, as is typing on my mobile, yet I launch.

I’ve been pondering forgiveness, (receiving and giving), and love and the great blessings I have from God. It’s a very good way to start a day. If you don’t possess those things, I encourage you to read in the books of Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John in the New Testament of the Bible; choose the NLT or NIV or Message or Passion versions. Jesus Christ is the embodiment of love, and if you look at Him, you’ll find what you’re searching for.

Still putting one foot in front of the other in all the spheres of influence in my life. Wrestling to believe the truth and to make adjustments as needed. I do feel disconnected from the most important roles that I play. Don’t want that awareness to go away, however I do want the disconnect to connect.

As a wife, mom and home-school parent, intentionality is a key. Husband and two-daughters-at-home and I are taking a combined spring break/ anniversary trip over a long weekend. May our hearts all connect and from there launch stronger journeys together. That is my hope/prayer.

We’ve designed the trip with some time for me to be alone, which may sound weird, but is valuable vacation time for me. Reflecting and regrouping and resetting and prioritizing and re-centering are on my must-do list for that precious alone time. It is what I am craving right now but cannot get out from under the Daily Grind to do.

My very best old friend always gives to me so many things, and her most recent gift of a book suggestion for reading together is a DOT on the reconnecting journey. I have only just begun to nibble on this sustenance, but I highly recommend the book entitled “The Emotionally Healthy Woman.” If you read it, will you please, comment on it here on my blog?

Dots connecting for me about church have put words things I already knew in my gut. God has clarified for me the leadership structure and the level of community being fostered there. I am stewarding this insight guardedly, because I don’t want to prejudice others. So I wait and listen and worship.

Being vulnerable  and showing up at work is becoming more and more my habit. I tend to fear reprimand after I have shown up, yet so far that has not happened.

 

~ living more vulnerably, on the Indiana prairie

Enough?

You all knew it was coming — so did I.  Reality starts to set in and things lose their glow.

My workplace is still a great place to work, “a place that it doesn’t suck to go to work.”

I am still moving forward toward my objectives and goals within my job description.

I am still enjoying the process and the people and the work.

But, am I accomplishing enough fast enough?  Am I meeting expectations?

I have made some mistakes along the path and cleaned up my messes; I still cringe when I make mistakes, which is something that is an ongoing work in progress to adjust inside of me.

But. . .

 

~living more in reality, on the Indiana prairie

Healing

It started last year with “Monk.”

Mysteriously, I felt celebrated and valued as I watched episode after episode.

I definitely relate to Adrian Monk’s peculiarities, that is, the lovely strengths which make him (the television character) uniquely who he is.

Then I stumbled upon Gretchen Rubin’s “Better Than Before,” and again, I felt celebrated and valued.

Which led me to her podcast with her sister, which led me to her daughter’s podcast, which led me to start reading “The Happiness Project.”

Listening to each one of these amazing women celebrating their nerd is bringing about transformation much like “Monk” did for me.

Thanks very much, Gretchen Rubin, Eliza Rubin and Elizabeth Craft.

~transforming, on the Indiana prairie