Trusting in the slow work of God

Endings are beginnings. A closed door offers a the opening of a new door. Change in responsibility = margin created.

On this last day of September 2023, one of my jobs ends; it’s a mutally acceptable arrangement, and one that I have encouraged. I will miss the challenge, but am excited to embrace the new, yet-to-be-seen things that are ahead.

One major theme this year has been the invitation daily, moment-by-moment to trust in the slow work of God in myself and others. He has been showing me that it is often easier for me to trust in His slow work in others; I hold myself to a different standard. . . which means that I am believing the lie that I can control God’s work in me. And there I go again — seating myself on a throne. Forgive me, Lord.

Another theme of late is the realization of how late the hour is and how little time I probably have left on this amazing Creation Earth. The divine tension between these two themes is where He meets me and transforms me to look like Him.

May God’s will be done. Nothing more. Nothing less. Nothing else.

~ following in His footsteps, on the Indiana prairie

Discretionary

I almost feel guilty.

almost.

Using the hours during which I am not at work to expand my job search is sometimes engergizing and sometimes draining.

Today, I am energized and encouraged.

Hence, here I am blogging about it.

I have created several versions of my resume and a cover letter, which I have been submitting and posting various places. I had no idea how much effort this process would take.

And I am only half-serious about finding a new job. My heart goes out to all of you who are without a job or who find that your current job is coming to a hard stop. May you experience favor in your search.

I feel like one bonus resulting from this new “project” is that my dreamer is awakening. I am exploring more possibilities and wondering about ideas that are floating around out there.

Like, what if I could find an entry level writing job, what if I could offer my secretarial services on an hourly as-needed-basis, what if I could find a virtual assistant job? I like the idea, at least, the picture that appears in my head from of each one of these possibilities.

And I like it when I “make it” through the initial screening questions and into “round two.” That has happened twice in the last week. No interviews as of yet, though.

It’s going to be interesting to see what happens  between now and the end of the year.

What advice do you have for me? I’d love to hear from anyone out there who is reading this li’l ol’ rag o’ mine.

~applying, on the Indiana prairie

Re-entry

did i mention it here before? i could do a search, but it really doesn’t matter. two years ago I trepidatiously re-entered the work-outside-the-home world in a role that was not fully my jam. yet, it offered flexible hours, work from home options and the chance to learn much about engineers and about a new-to-me industry. so far this adventure has been beneficial financially, intellectually and personally because I have had the opportunity to grow and to learn, not to mention to step far outside my comfort zone.

currently, i am still a full-time home maker / home school teacher, which has also been a transformative crucible. until recently, i only suspected that this combo role was not actually my jam; a little wonder of a test called “The Predictive Index” confirmed my suspicion for me. in that moment, i experienced feelings of validation (I knew it!), relief, panic, confusion, joy, grief and anticipation – it was like swimming in a whirlpool of those emotions.

good news – i know that i can do hard things and can function adequately outside of my design. it has been and continues to be generally the context in which i find myself. doing things outside of my design is not a bad thing.

more good news – now that i am more fully aware of my design, i am beginning to look for opportunities to invest my true self into. some of those opps i have found and am currently participating in, including outreach and some of the things i do at work. still, i know there is more for me.

if you are a home school parent who has launched a student or student(s) and who is planning re-entry into the work-outside-the-home world, go for it! you have been doing one of THE most difficult and rewarding jobs already. the skill set you have acquired is applicable and needed in our world. and what you carry inside of you, all that you are, is needed in our world.

take opportunities and do not be afraid to make mistakes and to learn new things. your potential is as valuable, if not more valuable than your abilities in this present moment.

keep your dreams alive even if you do not find your dream job (or even know what that is) the first time. if you decide that the job experience will not be wasted, then it won’t be wasted.

be quick to own up to and to clean up your mistakes/messes. be quick to ask how you can help. be quick to listen and slow to speak. honor and respect everyone. build on the foundation of love. simple, but not easy.

most importantly, be you at all times. it is incredibly exhausting to try to be someone other than who you are, yet incredibly easy for some of us to fall prey to this practice. practice being who you really are.

each one of us is living a journey and a story. each of us is the star of our own journey/ story.

where are you? what is happening in this part of your story?

~enjoying the journey on the Indiana prairie

And after the vacation?

Actually, we are embarking on summer vacation already.

And the time away from the grind was good time away, but not what I had hoped it would be exactly.  The fam spent a lot more time in the room than they indicated they would do before we left.  I did not get my alone time after all.

And then there was the new driver, practicing driving the vehicle that we have designated as “not for the kids to drive.”

And she drove for the first time on the interstate. . .which I did not anticipate happening. I felt myself swirling downward, but managed to maintain myself, thanks to Holy Spirit’s help.  Yikes!

Things did get a bit sticky when I spoke out about something that I would not have spoken out about without the encouragement of the truth in “The Emotionally Healthy Woman.”  It was painful and not pretty, but necessary.  I think we have had movement in the right direction since then, my husband and I.

All-in-all, a good get-away.

Another DOT is that I have been asked to help facilitate a few meetings, and I am excited to use some of the Sprint Design methods then.  Also, Don has mentioned that I get to sit in on a bunch of management level meetings about our company’s culture.

WAHOO!!!

~looking forward to summer, on the Indiana prairie

Finally

Sitting down to write for the first time in a long time.

Our short term mission trip to TN derailed me initially; fabulous, incredible fun and growth was that trip!

Then life kept happening at a furious pace.

Two weeks ago, I accepted a part-time job as a Training Coordinator.  This added to my full time job of home schooling makes life ultra-busy.

However I am committed to figuring out how to be consistent with my writing.  Summer is a challenging time for adding in something new, as well as a great time; less structure in my and my students’ days is much needed and difficult to schedule around as compared to the structured school year.  There is a way, and we will find it.

And with that, I must get to my writing project before the time slips away.

~transitioning with momentum, on the Indiana prairie

Words to Live By

“Your destiny lies on the other side of your fear.”  Kris Vallotton

Encouraging Truth

From before time as we know it began, you were planned for on this earth.

Your destiny is for good, for abundance, for hope, for love, for connection, for peace, for joy and so much more.

You are dearly loved and significant.

You are worthy of honor.

You are not defined by your past.

Long Time, No Write

About a billion. . .

What is the number of blog post ideas that have floated through my heard since the last time I wrote?

The too busy nature of this season of my life. . .

What is the root cause of my not using any of those ideas?

Perhaps

He* said that the time has come for us to be in a church where we are fathered, not in a church where we agree with the doctrine.

He said that pastors gather people together to help them get healed up, so that they can go out and do the stuff.

Perhaps this is why we have not found the church body for which we were searching; God knew that we were not searching for the right thing.

Gray Mystery

In my defense, it was after 1 a.m. when it all started.  It was after the camp was officially ended, the campers were gone, the extraordinary week almost over, the life-giving feedback session was finished — it was well past the time for all of us to be in our “beds” fast asleep.  And, confidentially, I was a wee bit impaired from our time in the Presence.

So when I was besought, I dumbly followed and listened and felt wrecked over what was revealed.  (Should’a deferred to our leader upon the revealing of who.)